Tuesday, June 7, 2011

see if I can't

so i haven't been writing...I know. i have been planning...big things. 2011 is the start of "see if I can't" for this 6ft blonde geisha. I hate being told that that I can't do something. When someone says something like that to me, I take it as a challenge. When I was in 4th grade and had moved to a new school in the middle of the year in Tokyo, I remember hearing someone saying "I don't like that new girl" when we were on a fieldtrip. Of course talking about me...now WHY they didn't like me? WHO KNOWS? But I took it as a personal challenge to get EVERYONE in the class to like me. And what do you know... by the end of the school year, I received the award for "most liked"person in the class. Even though I came half way through the year.
So...DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN'T DO. That just doesn't really compute in this brain of mine. THANK GOD!
I remember being a roly poly junior high schooler in Japan...being taller than everyone and sometimes depending on my "growth spurt schedule" being a bit bigger than lots of the kids in my class.
Then I was one of the few 7th graders that got picked for the A-team of the volleyball team. And that was the beginning of showing everyone that I CAN play and I AM GOOD. I would stay after practice to practice a bit more when I could. I was dedicated and would push myself to be the best that I could be.
Everytime I would find something I was passionate about...or someone would tell me "I just don't think you are cut out for this" I would work overtime to prove them wrong.
And YES, I DID prove them wrong most everytime.
They just don't know who or what they are dealing with when they deal with me.
And that's ok. Cuz soon enough they WILL know.

Another incident was when I first starting doing radio work, and someone that I worked with pretty closely who had been in radio for a long time told me "LIsle, if you really want people to respect you, maybe you have to be a bit more serious. Maybe you shouldn't play up that whole "lisle weapon" thing..."
Now I absolutely understand that he was telling me that because he was a good friend.
But I remember thinking to myself..."WHY?? Why do I have to cow-two to other people's ideas and definitions of "serious" in order to get ahead? Once I start doing that, it can become a slippery slope".

And I know I touched on this in a previous blog, but there were people (supposedly friends) who were betting against me actually staying in the US when I left my comfort zone of Tokyo about three years ago.
Yeah, look who's laughing now.
All this to say...I am absolutely not bitter. Having to prove yourself sometimes just comes with the territory.
Use people's disbelief in you to fuel the belief in yourself.
And I guarantee you it will get you places. As long as you stay focused and work hard.

SO all this is really to say that this is the year that I bring the heat.
It is time to dream big and do it up.
cuz I know that I am here to make some big dents along the way in this crazy journey that we all call life.
But I know that some of the things that I am about to do seem a bit out of my league for people that don't know me that well. Who knows...maybe even some of those I DO know well.
But that's ok. It's a brand new day.
and I will live up to the challenge.

See if I can't.